When I speak of child abuse I speak in the context that there is a possibility to eliminate child abuse.
Most people have the mind-set that this is impossible. ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.
Relate this to a problem solving issue. Then expand it to a much larger scale. But we then break it
back down into smaller segments, communties, neighborhoods, towns, cities. What steps must we normally take to
solve an issue?:
- Recognizing the existance of a problem.
- Acknowleding the existance of the problem.
- Identifying the scope of the problem.
- Defininig the details of the problem.
- Prioritizing the problem.
- Raising Awareness, in this case, public awareness.
- Locating the source of the problem.
- Developing a plan of action, a strategy to solving the problem.
- Following through with plan of action.
- Developing a broader understanding and constantly renewing, updating and adding to the information database, and plan
of action.
- Continue these efforts until the problem is solved.
Whether we find a genetic link. and/or education, or other resources in science and behavior I believe this
is entirely possible. We must ask ourselves as communities, churches and governing societies,
- Do we want this bad enough?
- What sacrifices are we willing to make to end child abuse?
- What causes a person to become a perpetrator?
- How can we put distance between possible perpetrators and our children.
- Are we willing to go out on a limb and state in public that we want, and believe that it is possible to stop child abuse?
Mind-sets are the number one key to this issue. How important it is to put a stop to this madness, and like
the old train, we need to keep saying "I think I can, I think I can..." until we do it.
What are contributing factors to one becoming a perpetrator?
What are contributing factors to one becoming an innocent victim?
We need to look at all aspects of the issue and problem. Separation or space between the perpetrator and victim
is just one step, and only a partial solution because so many are victimized by family members. We have to consider the whole
scope of the issue.
Let's start with the perpetrator. Let's take as an example a 13 year old boy who is going through puberty, some
start younger 11 or 12. Let's describe this young boy as a shy and stand-offish kind; a bit of a loner. He has a low self-esteem
and doesn't realize what's going on with the changes in his body and mind. No one has ever explained to him about the birds
and the bees, and right from wrong.
Let's speed his life up a little to fifteen years of age. All of his friends have girlfriends to speak of, but
at this age ever so innocent, for the most part. But let's say that this kid is not as attractive to girls as others from
a physical appearance, and mentally because he is so shy. He has already suffered a few blows in life. He has sent Valentines
cards to little girls only to be laughed at, and have them sent back. The girls have played pranks and practical jokes on
this kid. They would pretend to like him, then start laughing and picking at him.
Our society is in the stages of building and molding a monster, a ticking time bomb. Let's say this child, for
whatever reason doesn't progress mentally, or learn as quickly as the "normal" child. What more blows can we give this poor
kid?
Let's continue to assume that he decides not to go to college, but to work a manual labor job, out of public
view and away from the crossfire of un-kind words and criticism by others. And growing more and more confused, and frustrated
he is building up more pressures as he grows older.
What do you think will happen to him? Eventually the steam will be stronger than the container, and it will
have to find a way to escape.
Well, he has built up a very deep dislike of girls because of the humiliations he has been put through. He is
now 18 years of age, and not being an accepted part of society, and making barely enough money to get by, he's old enough
to fight in a war, or to vote. He should be old enough to earn so respect, right? Not in this poor kids situation. He is still
stuck in a mode of feeling rejected and humiliated, and has become more and more paranoid, and afraid of people.
Not only was he rejected and humiliated by the girls, but the bullies pushed him around a bit as well. And all
of these seeds of self-destruction and self-pity has been planted. Soon he realizes he cannot have a nice car, a nice home,
or even a nice girl friend. What is he learning about himself? He's learning that he is an outcast and society is to blame.
What happens when someone is to blame for something? They have to pay, right? In most cases that's the way it
seems. So one day he has had enough. He has to do something to get control over the situation. He lacks dignity, respect,
and appeal as viewed by society in general. He decides at some point that someone is to blame, and someone will pay.
Who is his first victim (s)? No one really knows. It could be a neighbor, a relative, a friend or a total stranger.
Or it could be a number of people. He could become a rapists, a murderer, a child molester, or all of the above.
Without a concerted effort between the medical community, scientific community, professionals, individuals,
churches, our government, etc this issue will continue to erode our society and hurt innocent children.
