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Carm’s Outline for the presentation of:
“PARENTS ON A MISSION”
We introduce ourselves as "PARENTS ON A MISSION", and we explain that our
mission is to stand up against child abductors and molesters and we teach parents how to do that. We go on to talk about how
often we hear about these things on the TV news, newspapers, and talk shows and how much it scares us to hear about these
things, but we should be scared about it because our fear should scare us into doing something about it, not just turn and
walk away and pretend that it can't happen to us.
We tell them that it is a parent's responsibility to protect their children but before they can protect them,
they need to learn how to do that.
Our presentation is in two parts, the first part being on child abduction and how to prevent it. We explain
that the word ABDUCTION means to carry off a person by force. We give them a little quiz by asking them questions like
---
Do you know what your child was wearing the last time you saw him/her?
Do you know your child's height and weight?
Do you have a set of your child's fingerprints?
Do you have a recent photo or video recording of your child?
Do you know the back ground check of your child's care provider, whether it be teacher, coach, religious leader,
baby sitter?
Do you know where to find a copy of your child's dental records ?
We next move on to how important effective communication is with our children because children who are not listened
to or do not have their needs met are the vulnerable and they'll seek that attention elsewhere, how we really need to listen
and not think that it's just a faze or kid stuff because it's very real to them.
We ask the group --- how many of us have ever told our children not to talk, take anything, or get into a
car with a stranger? We ask them if they think that this is enough information to keep them away from potential danger.
We explain the word stranger means it is a person with whom one is not personally acquainted with.
We tell them that most kids think of a stranger as a weird looking person who is hiding
and waiting to grab them and how we as parents can confuse our children about strangers because as we tell them
not to talk to strangers, we ourselves will talk to the cashier at the store, or at the bus stop, or just say hi to a person
we pass on the street.
We then go on to tell them some of the tricks they will use such as asking for
directions, the lost puppy/kitten trick, emergency situations, bribery. We teach them what to tell their children
to do if they should become separated while in a store or amusement park, or on an outing, what to do if they should get locked
in a trunk of a car, and what to do if they should get thrown into a car.
We then go on to talk about the internet, cell phones, and the all popular MY SPACE site. We tell them that
all of these could and are good things to have, they could be just as dangerous too because kids give out way to much
information about themselves and predators are on the internet looking for this information. They also are on the look out
for kids that are having trouble at home and how they will become their friends.
We go on to say that a predator's main purpose in life is to harm children and how
they plan their moves by watching the house, watching to see if the child is home alone, if the child walks to and from school
alone, etc, etc. We touch on how block club associations can help by choosing three houses on the block to become safe houses
where the children know they can go if they find themselves in trouble.
We next go on to explain how the first 15 - 30 minutes after an abduction takes place is the
most critical and how parents should carry the following info. in their wallets.
Write down the following info.:
The names and nicknames of your children.
Find a recent photo, write down their hair color, including streaking and highlights, the color of their eyes
and what color their contacts are if they wear them.
Write down their current height and weight, list any medical conditions, disabilities, and scars, list any tattoos,
body piercings and where they are on the body.
By having this info. will enable the police faster.
THE SECOND PART: SEXUAL ABUSE
We tell them what sexual abuse is legally defined as. We explain who sexual molesters are and how normal
they can appear and they could be anyone.
We explain why adults molest children - because they have a sexual preference toward children and they have
a belief system that encourages, allows, and supports sexual contact with children. We go on to explain how a molester goes
about gaining the trust of the child and in gaining that trust, starts the sexual act by simple tickling to
see how far they can go and how far the child will allow them to go and if the child should resist, what the molester
will tell them to keep it going -- "I thought you liked our little game, or, I thought we were friends, or,
This is our little secret".
By telling them these things, the molester is trying to get permission and this confirmed by the molester's
power, knowledge, and experience confuses the child and the child will most times allow it to continue.
We then go on to explain why children allow it to continue:
FEAR - of not being believed and this is instilled by the abuser.
CLOSE RELATIONSHIP - family member, sibling, friend, coach, etc.
GUILT - The child realizes that what is being done to them is bad and they must be bad for letting it continue,
so they say nothing.
THREATS - by the abuser against them, family members, pets, etc.
We go on to explain symptoms of an abused child in younger and older children.
We next explain how parents should re-act one the abuse is disclosed.
THE MOST IMPORTANT FACTOR IN THE CHILD'S RECOVERY IS THE REACTION HE/SHE GETS FROM THE FIRST PERSON THEY TELL.
How we must recognize our own feelings like shock and anger and try not to display these in front of the
child because they are confused and scared at this point and they will not be able to determine if our anger is against
them or not.
Believe the child no matter what , never promise to keep what happened a secret because they may have
to talk to police, doctors, lawyers, etc.
Tell the child that you're glad they told, assure the child that they did nothing wrong
and it was not their fault, and allow no further contact with the accused person.
What parents go through. I call this emotions in stages.
1. Denial, 2. Confusion, 3. Fear.
Anger comes next and there are three levels to this:
1. anger and rage, 2. anger towards yourself as a parent, 3. anger towards the child, and 4. grief.
We explain each one of these in detail.
We take a few minutes to answer questions at this point and then we end with a moment of silence for all of
the victims. We pass out many handouts on all kinds of material that we have gathered over the years.
All that I have covered here I got from reading and going to web sites pertaining to both subjects.
I hope it helps and if there is anything else you would like to know, just please feel free to ask.
Be blessed,
Carm
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